


I hope I can meet and love you again, just like before

by flowerrroad



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artist Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P., Bottom Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon, Breaking Up & Making Up, Complete, Daesung is mentioned once, Drinking, Falling In Love, M/M, Making Love, Porn With Plot, Post-Break Up, angry sex kinda?, mentions of fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerrroad/pseuds/flowerrroad
Summary: “I’m sorry I fucked up, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you back,” Seunghyun said bluntly, his eyes never leaving Jiyong’s in sincerity, flicking from one eye to the other.“Fucking asshole.”
Relationships: Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon
Comments: 11
Kudos: 51





	I hope I can meet and love you again, just like before

**Author's Note:**

> The title is derived from GD's song "Untitled, 2014"

“What the fuck.”

That was the first thing that came out of Jiyong’s mouth when he opened the door at almost midnight. He’d just come out of a shower, his plans of curling up in his warm bed with a glass of wine gone as his eyes fell on the one person he never wanted to see again.

“Jiyong,” his ex-boyfriend said, pressing his hands together and bowing lowly, “Jiyong,” he repeated.

“Seunghyun…” Jiyong sighed heavily, his hands running across his face, “wait- did you run here?” He almost shouted as he looked outside to find no car.

He noticed how odd the older looked. He was breathing hard, his face having drops of sweat that made the makeup on his face melt. His black hair was strewn in all directions, and Jiyong could see a pink tint on his cheeks through the weak makeup, signifying the man was either drunk or high. This was confirmed by Seunghyun’s slight swaying. Besides that, he was dressed in a suit with a tie loosened around his neck, combined with expensive shoes that became creased when he ran. Jiyong hadn’t seen this man in over two years, and he didn’t know if he should feel pity or not.

“What do you want?” Jiyong dragged, leaning against the door frame and wrapping his bathrobe tighter around himself from the cold that was entering his house. He regretted answering the repeated pressing of his doorbell.

“A drink?” The man suggested, looking up from his bowed position and grinning widely.

Jiyong was about to tell him to get off his porch before a flash of lightning occurred, foreshadowing an incoming storm. Even though Jiyong absolutely hated the man, he wasn’t going to leave him outside like a dog in the rain. Knowing Seunghyun, he’d stay outside on the porch until Jiyong was forced to let him in, so Jiyong decided to do it now before he was sopping wet with mud. Besides, he hadn’t had anyone in his house recently, so he could use some company, even if it was the one person he hated.

He would’ve done it with anyone, though. Right?

Within less than 5 minutes, there were various wine bottles across the living room from where Seunghyun had raided Jiyong’s expensive wine rack, and Jiyong’s face began to crease from how much he was done with the man sitting on his floor.

“I don’t get it. These people-- they come in here-- MY HOUSE-- and decide not to buy my art. Instead, they compare it to whatever the fuck her name is’s work and say it’s not original. And, yes, I’m open to criticism, but what the fuck is that supposed to mean? It’s MY art. MINE. They don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.”

Seunghyun finished, not even glancing at Jiyong as he waved his arms around when he spoke and drank glass after glass. Jiyong resorted to leaning back on the couch, barely listening to the man speak as his cat dropped from his lap, walking to Seunghyun.

The other man noticed, reaching a hand to pet him before taking it back quickly as the animal swiped at him.

“Ow! Jiyong, he scratched me!”

Jiyong smiled for the first time that night, chuckling softly, “Iye and I have something in common. We both hate you.”

“I thought he’d remember me,” Seunghyun pouted, and Jiyong avoided looking at the older man, who looked more like a baby. Back when they used to live together, Iye loved Seunghyun more than Jiyong. Now it was the opposite.

Jiyong groaned, closing his eyes as Seunghyun continued his drunk ranting. He really regretted answering the door. He wished he was in his bed, drinking alone instead of in front of his ex-boyfriend.

“My portraits are also original! I painted Jiyong, I painted Soo-Young, even Daesung! Who all modeled for me naked! I don’t get it! It’s art! They don’t know what the fuck they’re even looking at. You take a look at one drawing of a penis, and- “

He suddenly stopped, and Jiyong opened his eyes to see the man stand up to look at a painting on the other side of the room, throwing his jacket and tie on the floor in the process.

“Fascinating,” Seunghyun wondered aloud, his eyes wide as he reached out a hand to touch the framed painting on the wall, “who is the artist?”

“My nephew,” Jiyong scoffed, looking over at the painting. It was a messy finger painting of reds, yellows, and blues. The only thing distinguishable in the painting was a tiny handprint. He framed it because his nephew had created it in his house, and he had to find a replacement for Seunghyun’s art that was previously there. Jiyong remembers when he had left to go to the bathroom for two seconds, and he returned to find the toddler with his hands covered in Seunghyun’s old paint he had left behind at Jiyong’s house. The mess he had to clean up was _unbelievable_ , and he threw away the expensive paint as soon as possible.

“Sit down before you break something,” Jiyong snapped since he also knew Seunghyun acted like a child when he was drunk, and he could not handle another mess in his house. Because of how familiar it felt, Jiyong’s heart tugged whenever he spoke to him. 

Seunghyun sat down right where he was, his neck craned upwards as he continued to admire the painting. His clothing hung loosely over his broad frame, mouth open dumbly and closing when Jiyong spoke.

“You kept my portraits?” Jiyong asked. During his rant, Seunghyun mentioned several paintings and drawings of Jiyong at his recent auctions. Jiyong tried to control the blush creeping up his neck as he thought about his naked figure being displayed out in public for everyone to see. He knew Seunghyun had many prints of him naked, but to sell them at an auction?

“I keep all of them,” Seunghyun simply said, “even the ruined ones,” and he lowered his head to look at the remaining wine in the glass.

Jiyong immediately knew what he was talking about. The ones Jiyong ruined.

Towards the end of their relationship, they had arguments every hour of the day. Jiyong was the one who would scream his head off and break everything in his sight because Seunghyun wouldn’t even glance at him. He’d destroyed paintings Seunghyun worked months on by splattering paint over them or ripping them in half. On the last day they lived together, Jiyong had split a portrait of himself down the middle, the one they kept over their bed. The one that Seunghyun was most proud of.

Jiyong tried to change the subject to force the images out of his head.

“How’s what’s-her-face?” Jiyong asked after clearing his throat, crossing his legs. He had heard from their mutual friend Daesung not long ago that Seunghyun started seeing a woman, Daesung claiming that she didn’t look like Seunghyun’s type at all.

“Dead,” Seunghyun shrugged, before he looked back and saw the expression on Jiyong’s face, “wait! No- I didn’t- ugh,” he hit his forehead with the palm of his hand to make himself think. “Soo-Young is... frustrated? Tired? I’m not sure. I haven’t seen her lately. Last time I saw her was a week ago? We had a fight,” Seunghyun stated, not sounding affected by it at all.

“I’m not surprised,” Jiyong muttered, his chin resting on his hand, “you’re always an asshole.”

“Well, she probably left me for good. Just like you did,” Seunghyun said, ignoring Jiyong’s words. Jiyong noticed a small frown creasing from the side of his face. He was stating things bluntly now, and Jiyong hoped Seunghyun was drunk already even though he was a heavy drinker. He really didn’t want to know if Seunghyun’s expressions were real or not.

“I didn’t leave you,” Jiyong replied softly. “You’re the crazy one,” he added under his breath. Seunghyun sighed dramatically as he threw up his hands, almost spilling the glass of wine.

“Yes, yes, you went with tiny me. Lee Seunghyun,” he remembered, turning around and slouching against the wall, “I mean, he was cute,” he shrugged.

“How would you know?” Jiyong asked, since he didn’t start seeing him until after they had broken up.

Seunghyun avoided the question, downing his glass and looking into it. For some reason, Jiyong thought, he admired everything. Even the design of the wine glass. It was impossible for him not to be amazed by anything. Jiyong unconsciously shook his head.

“Well, anyways, she’s the one that was sleeping around, saying I was boring and ‘obsessed’,” Seunghyun sighed, throwing his arms up, “she’s different. She doesn’t care about my art. She’s not like you,” he admitted, a small pout on his face as he played with a loose thread on his shirt.

Jiyong’s breath hitched at his words, finally looking at the man. The red on his face was obvious now from the alcohol, and his shirt was now unbuttoned, showing the muscular skin below. His gaze was distracted as he now examined a wine bottle, obviously upset over everything he was telling Jiyong.

The younger got up quietly to grab another drink for himself in the kitchen while trying not to stumble. He felt weird, suddenly realizing how many years he had spent with this man and how much he meant to him. After almost three years, Jiyong rarely thought about him. Seunghyun’s drunk words weren’t helping his emotions, either.

Jiyong didn’t want to recall their relationship, but the memories just came flooding to his mind. How after he’d stormed out of Seunghyun’s apartment on the day they broke up, he’d gone home to throw every single painting and memory of Seunghyun into the trash. And how after he rid his house of everything, he cried and cried because he just lost the only person he’s ever fallen in love with. It was so hard for him to fall in love, and he managed to fall for a selfish, crazy artist who never made time for Jiyong. The faint pain of heartbreak Jiyong felt for those weeks echoed in his heart, and he felt tears brimming in his eyes.

God, he really needed another drink.

He poured himself another before he was asking himself why Seunghyun was here. He forgot to ask him when he came in since the man just started blabbing about all his problems. Out of everywhere in the world, why Jiyong’s house? Was it just to complain? Or apologize? Jiyong swallowed more wine hurriedly, turning around to ask him, before-

“Hey.”

Jiyong immediately wiped his eyes, jerking slightly from surprise as he met eyes with the other’s wide ones. Seunghyun was now in the kitchen with the wine bottle in his hands. Jiyong felt his face heat up, feeling his eyes on him. He forgot how attractive this man was, with his black, silky hair falling over his face and the smooth skin of his neck showing as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Every day I drive home from my studio, and every time I open the door, I always expect to see you. Not Soo-Young, not Daesung. You. And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of not seeing you every night,” Seunghyun said, sounding a bit angry as Jiyong inched away on instinct. He sighed loudly, almost slamming the bottle of alcohol down on the counter.

“I’m sorry I fucked up, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you back,” Seunghyun said bluntly, his eyes never leaving Jiyong’s in sincerity, flicking from one eye to the other.

“Fucking asshole.”

Jiyong whispered, dropping the glass of wine he was holding as lips met his. He didn’t react to the sound of glass shattering as he kissed back desperately, groaning when Seunghyun slammed him against the refrigerator. Seunghyun immediately began running his hands over Jiyong’s hair, down his abdomen, down his thighs, his lips dripping with want against Jiyong’s.

Jiyong was mad, so, so mad. He could feel it inside him as he kissed back angrily, using his teeth to make the other man bleed from his lip. The feelings of sadness he had felt moments ago from the heartbreak were gone, replaced with mean, hot anger. The other man didn’t deserve to be here, didn’t deserve to kiss Jiyong again, but Jiyong let him.

“Asshole,” Jiyong repeated in a whine, his hand smacking the other’s head, but he continued to kiss him, overwhelmed with how much he wanted this beneath his anger.

He let Seunghyun grab his hips and pick him up, following his movements by wrapping his legs around his waist, their lips never breaking apart as they tilted their heads in alternate directions. Seunghyun’s tongue ran under Jiyong’s lip, and Jiyong moaned when he was dropped on the bed.

Jiyong felt like he was back home, feeling the weight of the older on top of him. They had so many memories on this bed, where they would make love in and sleep in. It was so familiar to Jiyong that he allowed himself to take it all in.

Seunghyun had leaned back to look at Jiyong, and Jiyong’s heart skipped beats.

He never thought he’d see this man again in his life. He never thought he’d gaze into his wild, passionate eyes again that now looked at him hungrily. Jiyong’s anger began to dissipate as arousal filled his veins. All of sudden, the only thing on his mind was satisfying his burning erection.

Seunghyun let go for a second to look up over Jiyong’s bed, where a painting of his was hanging. Jiyong followed his eyes, tilting his head up to glance at the painting.

It was a black and white painting made by Seunghyun. Jiyong knew that Seunghyun absolutely hated it since he hid all the color under the black paint. It was created when Seunghyun was in a bad state, drunk and filled with negative thoughts. Out of all the paintings Jiyong threw away on that day, he only kept this one. Seunghyun loved wild colors, not darkness, but the latter was what Jiyong loved. It was so unlike Jiyong to have so much color in his personality, while Seunghyun identified with every color in existence. It was so contrasting and meaningful that Jiyong couldn't throw it away.

Jiyong felt a smile tug his lips as he gazed back at his ex-boyfriend. A silver necklace dangled from his neck, and Jiyong could feel the cool metal against his collarbone. They were both breathing heavily, their fast actions slowing down as they took in what was happening. He gently pressed the back of Seunghyun’s head, their eyes meeting, and Jiyong felt like crying.

He could see the wild, artistic Seunghyun. The one that had so much love for art and creativity that mimicked Jiyong’s love for music. The painting Jiyong slept under every single night never captured the true image of Seunghyun, and that’s why he loved it. The true Seunghyun was only seen in person when you gazed into his eyes, overlooking the black paint that covered his vibrant colors.

“Jiyong,” Seunghyun basically whined, leaning forward as one of his hands smoothed down the younger’s hair, peering down at him with a small smile.

“Seunghyun,” Jiyong whispered, his mouth open when Seunghyun kissed his lips before moving to his neck and sucking on the skin.

Jiyong felt a wave of arousal shoot through him when Seunghyun bit and nipped at his skin. He knew Seunghyun loved to mark him, calling it his other masterpiece. The older had said in the past that he wished he could frame Jiyong for the whole world to see, but the selfish bastard only wanted Jiyong’s beauty to himself.

The younger grasped at Seunghyun’s shirt, unbuttoning the remaining buttons before slipping it over his shoulders, and Jiyong was able to run his fingers along the muscles of his back, tracing the old scars he’d left years ago from their rough love making sessions. Jiyong knew Seunghyun was never proud of his body, rarely exposing himself in front of others. But here Jiyong was, with a front seat to appreciate the wonderful body in front of him.

Seunghyun placed kisses slowly, swaying slightly due to the alcohol, and Jiyong could feel his ragged breathing against his abdomen as he raised Jiyong’s shirt over his bellybutton. He slipped off Jiyong’s sweatpants silently, the younger lifting his hips to help him as he was left naked from the waist down. If Jiyong was with anyone else in the world, he wouldn’t have exposed himself so easily. He had the same quality as Seunghyun in that they treated their bodies like hushed secrets.

Although he knew Seung-hyun had drunk a lot of alcohol, he knew his decisions were conscious. He spent so much time in the past with the man that he knew he acted like a child when he was drunk. He yelled and laughed at everything, but right now, he was quiet and serious. Jiyong felt that it was even more meaningful that Seunghyun had sought Jiyong even when he was mostly sober.

Jiyong sighed as Seunghyun ran his hands over his tattoos, especially the one heart that was designed by him on his forearm. The older began kissing his thighs over his INHALE and EXHALE tattoos, treating Jiyong like a fragile work of art before he moved to his exposed erection. Jiyong had been hard ever since he was slammed against the refrigerator, and his legs felt like jelly when Seunghyun wrapped his lips around the head, perfect and warm.

“I hate you so much,” Jiyong whined, his hands already tugging at Seunghyun’s hair as he threw his head back in pleasure. Although his anger was gone, it was the only thing that could come out of his mouth. Jiyong wished the one making him tremble with arousal was anyone but Seunghyun.

But no one compared to him. Jiyong’s mind went crazy, knowing that all the partners he tried in the past never made him feel this way. None of them left him amazed with their creativity or shaking with their skill in bed. Only the man with crazy eyes and long fingers was able to make him fall apart, expose himself, love back with so much passion. To this day, Jiyong never fell in love with anyone the way he did with Seunghyun. Jiyong’s heart felt fluttery, as if it was repairing the damage the other man had caused.

Seunghyun said nothing to Jiyong’s declarations of hatred, accepting them as he stopped his movements to retrieve a bottle of lube that was on the bedside table.

A part of Jiyong was embarrassed that he’d left it there from a few lonely nights ago when he got himself off. He lived alone, and he rarely had anyone come over to his room, so he didn’t see the point in putting it away if he was going to use it again. Knowing that Seunghyun realized this, Jiyong blushed when the older held an amused smile.

His mind went blank when the older settled himself between Jiyong’s thighs once more, continuing to tease Jiyong with his hot, hot tongue by circling the head and making Jiyong’s length twitch. Seunghyun slowly inserted a finger, Jiyong letting out a moan at the pressure. He knew it wasn’t long before he was at the brink of orgasm. It was almost embarrassing that he hadn’t been touched like this in so long.

Seunghyun worked his fingers, adding another as he shifted them around inside Jiyong before-

“Oh!” Jiyong gasped, his back arching in pleasure, one of Seunghyun’s arms wrapping over Jiyong’s abdomen to keep him steady on the bed. “Fuck, Seunghyun,” he cursed, his hands grabbing the bedsheets tightly as he felt the finger inside him press his sweet spot.

Seunghyun picked up his pace slightly, swirling his tongue and bobbing his head down to press himself against the dark curls at the base of Jiyong’s length. He took in deep breaths from his nose as spurts of precome spread across his tongue. Jiyong forgot how skilled he was in bed, leaving him breathless every time as his body trembled with pleasure.

“I’m gonna come,” Jiyong announced, his muscles tightening, and his body arched beautifully over the bed as he jerked with a loud moan, his hand almost ripping Seunghyun’s hair off. Pleasure ripped through him like never before, flooding his veins with so much longing.

Seunghyun swirled his tongue to collect every drop, swallowing it as Jiyong’s length twitched in his mouth. He stretched open his hole with two more pumps before he sat up to remove his slacks and underwear in one go. Once he was completely undressed, he leaned over Jiyong’s sweaty form. He placed soft kisses on his face as his hands traced the outlines of Jiyong’s tattoos, allowing Jiyong to come down from his orgasm.

“You bastard- you wonderful bastard-“ Jiyong gasped, his lips colliding with the older’s once more. He could taste his own come on his tongue mixed with the deeper taste of Seunghyun. His hand tightened around Seunghyun’s neck before he gasped against his lips when he felt something big intrude his entrance.

It hurt, the stretch from a hot cock so different from the slender fingers he used to fuck himself on a lonely night, but he loved it. Seunghyun was pain but pleasure, and he kissed him deeply at the thought. It was common for them to go round after round in the past, so Jiyong didn’t protest that Seunghyun was already entering him so soon after coming.

Seunghyun groaned against Jiyong’s lips, his arms shaking slightly, and Jiyong’s nails softly raked along the older’s arms and back as he shut his eyes tightly, his kisses becoming lazy and long. His length was already awake a second time, pressing against Seunghyun’s abdomen.

When he was all the way in, Seunghyun leaned back to meet eyes with the younger. A trail of saliva linked their mouths from their kiss, and Jiyong’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he moaned when Seunghyun began to move. Jiyong swore that nothing in the world felt this good.

Seunghyun moved slowly, and Jiyong knew it was because of how much they waited to be together once more. Jiyong knew the other missed the life they had built and shattered years ago, and the lust they were satisfying was building a new bridge between them, repairing all the damage they did to each other. It was overwhelming Jiyong, too much for him to handle.

Jiyong moaned loudly, echoing across the whole house. He missed this. He missed being at the hands of another man that pushed shameless noises out of him. The fact that it was Seunghyun’s hands made him melt, knowing that everything he touched became a masterpiece. His entire body was flooded with the man he loved, the man he never stopped loving, no matter how much pain he had caused. And he was just now admitting that to himself.

He understood. He had fallen in love with this selfish man who wanted everything beautiful in the world. And Jiyong was one of them. Because beneath the arrogance the artist had, he was sensitive and romantic. He’d loved Jiyong in the past, and he possibly still did. Jiyong understood the need that Seunghyun was pouring onto him through sex, showing him that he meant so much more than anything, showing him that he never really left Jiyong.

Jiyong didn’t realize he was gasping until Seunghyun was wiping and kissing his tears away, his thrusts becoming longer and passionate. It was just how Jiyong remembered, and his emotions were too strong to hold back.

“God, don’t stop, Seunghyun,” he moaned, shutting his eyes tightly as he felt his body shake from the pleasure, and Seunghyun didn’t stop, keeping his slow pace as he let out small sighs and groans against Jiyong’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Seunghyun repeated into his skin through his heavy breaths, and their hands met at their sides, intertwining and grasping each other tightly. His apologies were accepted by Jiyong, who’s tears didn’t stop flowing from how much he was feeling.

Jiyong’s orgasm took him by surprise, crying out as his nails dug into Seunghyun’s skin deeply. He was jerking and pulsating against the older’s body, almost screaming with pleasure and emotion. Jiyong gasped as he felt the older fill him up a few seconds later with a loud groan.

Instead of collapsing, Seunghyun had met eyes with Jiyong’s dazed ones, and Jiyong faintly recalled that the older loved to admire his orgasm face as their heavy breaths met in the air between them. Seunghyun was so beautiful, his sweaty hair dangling over his face as his wide, dark eyes looked down upon the younger. Jiyong didn’t hate him anymore. He hated himself for leaving such a creative, gorgeous man.

Jiyong let out a heavy sob when Seunghyun kissed him softly, one of his thumbs brushing away another tear on Jiyong’s face.

“I never forgot you,” Seunghyun whispered, “I always wanted to come back. I love you so much, Jiyong.”

“I know. I know you do, you fucking asshole,” Jiyong croaked back, and he raised his arms to wrap them around the older’s neck, holding him close. He breathed in his scent mingled with sweat, and Jiyong felt that he could breathe again after a long time. He felt alive, like he’d just come home after a long vacation. They kissed once more, wanting to take back all the time they were apart, pouring all their emotions into each other’s mouths. Jiyong felt a single tear from Seunghyun fall on his face, mixing with his own.

Jiyong had always blamed it on Seunghyun for destroying their relationship, but it was Jiyong’s fault, too, for giving up on them. For ruining his precious masterpieces and never forgiving him for his mistakes. Jiyong had let him leave, yet Seunghyun never stopped loving him. He kissed back with so much desperation, his own method of apology as Seunghyun declared his own love for him.

“I love you,” Seunghyun repeated, and Jiyong echoed his words, realizing he’d felt the exact same way.

Jiyong cried, and Seunghyun held him all night, reassuring him he’d never leave again.

-

The next day, Seunghyun invited Jiyong to his house. They walked there, across the city, holding hands. Jiyong was laughing as Seunghyun told him stories he’d missed out on, and he’d lean against him happily, missing his presence.

Jiyong didn’t cry until he saw Seunghyun’s room again. After more than two years, the room looked almost exactly the same. The portrait of Jiyong was still situated above the bed, although it had a tear in the center where Jiyong had destroyed it. Seunghyun never took it down, and Jiyong took this as Seunghyun’s proof that he never stopped loving him.

Jiyong decided he was never letting him go ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first gtop fanfiction! I hope you liked it :)
> 
> I might add to this by writing it in Seunghyun's perspective instead of Jiyong's, what do you think?


End file.
